Male Female
Power Struggles in a Male/Female Relationship
My friend’s dad once pointed to his chin and said, “Your woman should always be down here.”
He then paused for a few moments, pointed to just above his head and said “…and you should be up here…she should never be above you.”
When I asked him what he meant, he said, “Look…I don’t mean it in a way that she is less important than you…but that she is less dominant. Allow her to be a woman and make sure that you are being a man.”
I was intrigued. I’d grown up in a world that preached equality in all areas of male/female relationships. Yet, over time I’ve come to realize that in order to spark attraction from the outset and then maintain the sexual polarity between you and a woman, she should always be in the ‘one down position’ in terms of dominance.
A common mistake that men make when dealing with women is to communicate a willingness to trade their masculine status in the relationship (i.e. she has the power and can ‘wear the pants’) in exchange for her love, affection and attention.
It is the one strategy that almost guarantees:
1. The woman will not feel a ‘gut-level’ attraction for you.
2. You will be the submissive one in the relationship (in terms of needing the other person more).
3. She will have to take on more of a masculine role and thus be unsatisfied at her core.
4. She will naturally seek to be fulfilled by other men so she can regain her lost femininity.
The same principles apply when it comes to impressing women to maintain their interest. No matter how beautiful and precious a woman is to you, she must be trying to impress you and maintain your attention and interest.
Women often say “I want a man who is a challenge” and you will be doing them a huge favor by being one. Here’s a little ‘imagination exercise’ for you…
Picture a group of gorgeous women walking along the beach in bikinis, giggling and having fun. Their beautiful hair is blowing softly in the wind and you can smell their sweet perfume drifting your way.
The idea of expecting women like that to want to impress you might seem crazy! I can empathize.
I used to think like that too. So, to you I say: Understand what’s really going on between men and women, this place we call Earth will be a totally different world for you.
Anyway, stop picturing about the women in bikinis now. They’ve met some guys at the bar and are having a great time. Let’s get back to business: A woman must be more in love with you than you with her, no matter how beautiful, precious or sought-after she is.
Do not ever ‘convey lower status’ in the relationship by being more in need of her or by submitting to her tantrums, unreasonable demands or tests of your masculinity.
You are the man, the masculine. She is the woman, the feminine. To maintain attraction and interest you must allow her to be a woman and you must also continue to offer her a challenge.
Giving her those intangible gifts will be far more valuable to her than any diamond ring or expensive dinner.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.
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